Comments on: Parenting is a Job: The Systems Mindset Dissection

By: Reactionary

Reactionary — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:37:29 +0000

[...] Your child is pushing your buttons, making you crazy. The problem lies in the parent-to-child control system that either is misdirected or, more probably, doesn’t yet exist. Examine your relationship with your child. (See Parenting is a Job: The Systems Mindset Dissection.) [...]

By: Systems Mindset Newsletter

Systems Mindset Newsletter — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:13:25 +0000

[...] week’s post was Parenting is a Job: The Systems Mindset Dissection. I thought this point was a given, but after a couple of comments, I added this short paragraph to [...]

By: Rosie

Rosie — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 06:21:51 +0000

Our ancestors crossed the oceans, explored new worlds, pioneered across the plains…and our kids can’t run on the blacktop at school because it’s ‘too dangerous!’ We are raising children who will lead us to our downfall, because we entitle them and praise them, even when they lose…(ie: everyone gets a trophy!)
I hope parents have the courage to shun the ‘parenting magazine norm’ and follow your advice. We need children raised under these circumstances to save us from ourselves!

By: Elmer

Elmer — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:15:46 +0000

There is very long standing and supported research that parents actually have very little influence over their children, except for genetics. Also, leaving them alone is the best approach.

Experiencing stressful events also help them develop their skills. Makes sense.

Insecurely raised parents however, tend to over-parent.

By: Jacky

Jacky — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:40:48 +0000

Great post Sam.

I have four boys (16, 14, 11 and 3) and fight against the modern tide of ‘over-preciousness’ poured out to our children. The result? My boys appreciate me, are learning true independence, know they are loved for themselves (but not always for their actions) and know about respect. I am a great believer in personal responsibilty – something ignored by many people today at our collective cost.
I also refuse to accept the ‘teenager’ classification – this is a time of gradual growth from child to adult. I recognise and reward mature behaviour when appropriate and encourage the discarding of childish ways too.
Finally, I totally agree about teaching that life has its ups and downs. We can’t all have everything that we want and sometimes life is hard. Get over it and make the most of what you have.

By: Sophie Benshitta

Sophie Benshitta — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 22:45:05 +0000

Very happy I found this post. I am a coach and I also teach internet marketing to adults. I have never been a parent, but I had a sense that how people are brought up in the US is not normal… at least not for me. I grew up in Europe to be self-sufficient, to respect people, and to have thick skin… i.e. having a certain toughness that gets through the rough points.

My students are American and I am producing very little to no results. I have not set up my systems mindset approach, but I will do that tonight. I may not be able to turn things around fast, but I ‘ll be a happier person, no matter what happens.

Thank you for that.

Sophie Benshitta Maven

By: Tricia

Tricia — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:55:37 +0000

So how did the system do? Are your “kids” strong, self-sufficient, in control, and respectful? What interests me even more: how do THEY feel about your system and its results? You obviously think you did a great job, what do they think?

By: Chanda | BizDharma.com

Chanda | BizDharma.com — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:45:28 +0000

Nobody wants their child to face the same hardships that they had to face but in this care they forget that it is experience and failure that makes you more humble and smart. Also they try to cease the child’s freedom by exercising their views. Quiet an insightful post, cant agree more to the thought If you have done a good job let the child now be on its own.